Just look at Beijing go. Practically salivating at the thought of all the clicks he’ll get by sharing his latest online discovery with the rest of the receding hairlines. He’s like a child standing up in front of the class with a wonky crayon drawing of Boris Johnson, accompanied by some gibberish monologue about how great he is. Reminds me of the time Dave ‘introduced’ us all to Cold War Steve, as if everyone had been living under a rock all their lives and hadn’t the first fucking clue about culture in the UK. He’s just so cutting edge. Swoon.
What I’m most excited about is seeing the servile offerings which are likely to follow, as various forum members vainly try to curry favour with our hero by offering their own equally purile suggestions, before the thread inevitably loses all of its limited interest and fails. Miserably. Again.
But keep on trying Beijing; eventually you might rediscover a glimmer of that spark you once had. Although, in this travelling shit show of limited returns, I seriously doubt it.
