-si- In the next 4 years, poor zacko is going to swing from the smiley and happy archbishop of banterbury he is today, to the psychotic and unhinged bantony hopkins in silence of the lambs, complete with mask, boiler suit and trolley. All because uncle joe is doing such a fantastic job…
It’s April 2024. The Goldman-Exxon Climate Repair Initiative (GECRI) is working wonderfully, yet the day is still pleasantly warm. As I crack the shade to my window, sun streams in. Below my car on the Tesla Lite Rail, I see New New York beginning to bustle with life. I am headed to South Carolina. We should be pulling into Charleston Depot in 45 minutes or so. President Biden’s reelection is all but confirmed, but you can never rest easy. Republican Nominee House Minority Leader Clay Higgins has moved up from 5% to 7%, and I have doors to knock. Secretary of Transportation and Space Musk comes onto my life screen. He assures us that the POTUS has been successfully installed in his new Mech Suit. He is scheduled to run in the Boston Dynamics Marathon next Monday, and most of us volunteers are just a little bit nervous. A strong finish can only improve his numbers, but another first might be showy. The lights come on in the car, as we prepare to bore underground. As things grow dark outside, I have a pang of sadness. It has been three years since we lost Si to that god damned road bowling accident. They said he felt nothing; his brain was instantly liquefied. I was never sure. Still, I can rest assured he’d be happy to see me now. Ah, here come my Amazon Post Glasses, loaded with the newest housing report. Tonight’s gunna be a good night. Tonight’s gunna be a good good night…