They are not even allowed to drive taxis in Beijing and Shanghai because they’re too fucking thick and uneducated to give licences to (strictly reserved for local city-folk), they couldn’t be trusted ferrying newly arrived Great Wall tourists around without dinging the car, or getting in a petty but rapidly escalating dispute over trying to cheat an American of a pithy sum like $2. But you will sometimes catch one in one of the smaller cities, where their favoured trick is to take you to your destination by an insane zig-zig route that also goes an unnecessary 350 degrees around the city’s ring road just to make themselves a few extra quid. All the time chain-smoking the cheapest fags that cost literally 50p a pack and using their favourite English terms they have seen on TV: ‘HARRO!, OH-KAY!, BAI-BAI!’.

  • LT42 replied to this.

    bosstrabs they are basically uneducated farm hands who move to the big city to get higher wages but end up doing menial jobs in a really fucking stupid, retarded, common sense-lacking way.

    I instantly thought of MC I cannot lie.

        This is useful information too, because if you encounter someone Chinese behaving badly on holiday (e.g. cutting in front of you in the queue), just call them a ‘nong’ (peasant) or a ‘nong-min-gong’ (peasant labourer), which is the worst non-sweary insult you can call a Chinese person because it manages to convey that you are disgusted with them, you think they are a lowlife and they have no manners/civility. They will probably be 1) shocked that you know enough Chinese to call them that and 2) genuinely hurt and ashamed (massive loss of face)

        bosstrabs All the time chain-smoking the cheapest fags that cost literally 50p a pack and using their favourite English terms they have seen on TV: ‘HARRO!, OH-KAY!, BAI-BAI!’.

        Lol

            LT42 There must be a Turkish equivalent I’m sure, probably from a countryside shithole in the far east.

            • LT42 replied to this.

                bosstrabs They’re pure bred gypsies here. They go around the place with these carts collecting all the plastic and cardboard out of bins. They also go around with makeshift musical instruments playing weirdly hypnotic gypsy tunes with their hands out looking for coin, no doubt they get hired as cheap labour too. You see young girls of 13 or 14 who"ve already popped out a few kids, hard as nails.

                    There is one absolutely great nong, though, who goes by the name of ‘Pangzai’ and has become a minor internet celeb for his heavyweight boozing, smoking, eating and general tomfoolery.

                    Claims to have invented the ‘tornado’ beer-downing style…

                    • Amps replied to this.

                      He also builds schools for kids and tills the earth. A top lad.

                      Who is the coolest guy in a hospital?

                      The ultra-sound guy!

                      And who steps in when he goes on leave?

                      The hip replacement guy!

                      Haven’t seen it in years, but how generally creepy / weird is Harry full stop?

                      • Dan replied to this.

                        Dude from Predator played him didn’t he? (can’t be assed trawling back through the thread to check).

                          Dan Dude from Predator played him didn’t he?

                          Arnie?

                          • Dan replied to this.