Along_the_Wire
Sorry to hear that mate. It hits so much more differently when you know them vs it being a friend of a friend or a news article.
It never makes sense to anyone. One thing I’ve noticed from my own accounts and others is that the state of mind people are in when they do it is so past a point that they don’t tell anyone it’s going to happen, it’s just suddenly done. They are literally “out of their right mind”, rationality isn’t seemingly available to them. The ones who talk about the thoughts being there, or talking about how they are feeling - there is still hope for.
The thing that caused me to pay attention to suicide was in 2010 when a childhood friend of mine seemingly “perfectly happy / always smiling / always making everybody happy” kind of kid at the age of 19 somehow went to a friends house and they both decided to hang themselves at 5am in small woodland behind the doctors surgery.
This was in a relatively peaceful / safe village, his family were just nice people and it made no sense. He just left notes for everyone saying ultimately he unhappy. He had split up with his partner 2 days earlier but it doesn’t explain why both the lads did it together either it almost seemed as if one must have talked the other into it having already been at a low point himself / a rare moment of madness. I wish I knew.
In 2021 I flew back from Cyprus for a stag do in Edinburgh only to find out one of the missing lads we had invited, had not replied to our invite months ago because he put himself in his bed and overdosed leaving a note on the door for his wife/kids “do not come in here, call the police”.
Again, life and soul of the party / always making everyone laugh and making sure everyone is alright. Super friendly/funny/warm. We found this out a few days after the stag do was over - but we had no idea.
I never really know what the fuck to make of it and obviously Hugo hasn’t experienced this / I hope he never does but it knocks you sideways / leaves you feeling super hollow and lost for what to do with this situation when you find out.
There is nothing to do but take it.
