I Had a fucking skinfull last night , 36 hour bender on the filthy booze and chisel. on the way home i thought id pop into old Flo’s Over the road from my house and use it as a good deed bargaining tool with Jo for the enevitable onslaught of my failings as a hunter gatherer and Man when i got thru my own fucking front door .
After talking about to the old girl about her varrious tumors and how long she has to live and how none of her family come to see her and that the “vultures are circling” for her goods and chattels ,i’d realised id made a mistake of some note and was bored Fucking shitless.
To cheer the old cow up i cut her off talking all this morose shit and told her of my theory on dormant alien life in Leigh on sea.. “ it very well may be Flo, that they will have some form of antanna which will make a clicking and whirring sounds when sexually aroused… also their pineal frontal lobe may be developed to such an extent , that when resonated at 25,000 rpm, they can see entities in the third dimension, seeing things that no man should see.”"
To demonstrate my thesis to this Dopey Mare , I skulled 2 lines of off the rock bugle on her Granddaughters Photo , then hunkered down on all fours making aggressive pig like grunts and Ghoulish Moans while moving like a crab across her ice rink threadbare carpet while simulating a prolonged climax against her nest of tables with the head of my Straining purple cock out , nestling on a scatter cushion, before I Finally came shuntering my load in convulsive fits over the fucking Cat.
For some reason she broke down hysterically and asked me to leave . No drink No grub No nothing!!.
As recompense, i swiped a nice picture frame that should be worth a few bob and provide a stake money for the nags tomorrow. There was a picture of some cunt in an army uniform holding a rifle with a chest of medals dated june 3rd 1944. So i took it out of the frame and put it in the charity bag for starving africans , should cheer them up a bit, always a bit long in the boat for some reason those cunts, all that year long sunshine as well, they want to be over here with all this facking rain!!. I ask ya. Cunts.
Then to top it all off, would you believe it !, all i could hear as i crossed the road having done my good neighbourly deed for the day was a whining high pitched “wilf !..wilf! where are you wilf!”. no wonder he fucked off !.
And on top of all that agg , i still copped an earful from my Richard the 3rd Jo for being 26 hours late !
Good Deeds.Mugs Game. Stick to Prog.
