The Gorge (Apple TV) 2025: 4/10
Not gonna waste my time writing much about this pile of rubbish. 2 Hollywood A-listers fall in love texting each other between 2 cliffs separated by a GORGE filled with zombies. н0w tн€¥ pur$uad€d th€$€ tw0 d£₡£nt a₡t0r$ t0 $tar in tнi$ I’ll n€v€r ₭n0₩ but it’s a sort of shit Resident Evil and the pained expressions of both protagonists tells the story more than any script does.
The Lost Boys (1987). Turku got an art house cinema of sorts, and they also show old cult classics every now and then. My wife suggested we go see this there. We’d both seen it ages ago (maybe decades), but all I could remember was that it was bad. And it was, but it’s just so much fun to watch a bad movie that makes you laugh with a room full of likeminded people who also like to laugh at bad movies. Good times at the movies this was.
I watched Colors on the way back from Chicago to NYC and I have to say that it’s fucking terrible. Dated beyond belief and it may as well have 70s Batman KAPOW shit on the screen during fight scenes. Fucking awful. ⅒
Delighted to see Amazon in full control of Bond, can’t wait for another part of my childhood to run into the ground for maximum dollar. I imagine the spin off mini series exploring the origins of Felix Leiter’s dog walker will be nothing but televisual gold for the ages.
Amps in light of this news the Craig-era was a decent way to end it (pretty sure it’s over in any enjoyable way), his arc had a beginning and an end. I know Roger Moore-fans thought the Craig Bonds were joyless, but I always preferred the more gritty Bonds like Connery and even Timothy Dalton. They were guys you could believe were killers.
Watched Hollowman for the first time since high school. Bacon goes into full sex pest Millsy mode. There’s a titty squeeze in there that will make you feel absolutely filthy. I remember it being fairly violent with gore, but not this sexually depraved. Highly entertaining and it has got late 90s written all over it. Wokeness and #metoo aside, this holds up. 8 / 10
Women Talking (2022). I love that this won an Oscar for best original screenplay because if you insert the frace “not all men” in the script of a movie where all men are evil, except for a one wimpy guy, and have it said by a woman where she was saying it as a positive thing unironically I applaud you. Not a fun watch, but I liked it a lot. Some great performances, but considering the cast it’s no surprise.
CompanIan. A couple go to stay with friends in a remote house. Probably best enjoyed not knowing anything else about it but I liked this Black Mirror like comedy, sci-fi thriller. Sophie Thatcher is great.
Phil-McRackin Also enjoyed. Esp the scene in German.
Wasily Jawohl!
The X-Files: I Want To Believe (2008)
This was the 2nd X Files movie they made, between the original season ending (season 9) and before the relaunch of the franchise with seasons 10 and 11 recently. It’s a standalone story that doesnt have any elements of the alien mythology from the series.
As a thriller, it lacked something. There was no real tension and it fizzled out a bit. The story was fairly grisly - about a Frankenstein-type doctor. I’m not really sure what the clamour was to make this, it could have been a double episode to be honest.
Gillian Anderson is of course smoking hot in it. 5 Frankenstein heads out of 10.
Didn’t watch too many films on this trip, spent a lot of the travelling asleep.
The Order - thought this was okay, nice turn from Jude Law - 6/10
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare - standard Guy Ritchie stuff but was an interesting story which I wasn’t aware of, so doesn’t get thrown in with all his other shit - 6/10
Colors - I assumed I’d seen this when it was first released, but hadn’t. Was probably a half decent watch back in 1988, but time has not been kind to it at all. Internal flight landed about twenty minutes before the end - I have no intention of finishing this film. 2/10
Panic Room - one of my kids said this was great, so watch it. It’s okay if a little silly and predictable - 5/10
The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007). First watch. This film has a reputation as a masterpiece and I’d say it earns it. Two career best performances from Casey Affleck and Brad Pitt, stunning cinematography by Roger Deakins and writer director Andrew Dominik has done nothing even close to this since. Warning, will seem boring to people with short attention spans. It’s nearly three hours long, and not action packed.
Krull (1983)
I loved this when I was a nipper, swords and sorcery meets alien weirdness, on reflection it kinda has an Iain M Banks vibe about it… The story is light on any real detail, the acting is pretty terrible, the fight scenes are a bit crap… but… Lysette Anthony is an absolute sort, it’s got a frisbee dagger thingy for a MacGuffin called the Glaive, the score is a banger and some of the sets are Dali esque weirdy bossness. Also notable for a rare ish non Carry On appearance from Bernard Bresslaw.
The reward is freedom! And fame!
Freedom? We have it. And fame? It’s an empty purse. Count it, go broke. Eat it? Go hungry. Seek it, and go mad.
3 beautiful views of the Dolomites out of 5
Homegrove took me three goes to watch it, but loved it when I finally got round to watching it all.
Big week in the cinema, got Flow, Brutalist, Complete Unknown lined up. Not sure which one to watch first!
