As I worked the past few days I listened to the Top 10 for every genre on Beatport. Some of the genres have objectively worse music than those ranked below, but at least they’re interesting whereas some are just so drab and boring and formulaic. Keep in mind I’m judging strictly off the top 10. I know there are diamonds in the rough here. But that’s often not reflected in the top 10 so they’re judged accordingly.

“What is popular is mostly terrible” has been the lesson here.

  1. Leftfield House & Techno
    Might be the only genre that doesn’t seem to have its head firmly stuck in the past but when it does, it’s innovative and good.
    Best Song: Pearson Sound “Alien Mode”

  2. Indie Dance
    Italo Italo Italo but it’s really quite enjoyable.
    Best Song: Michael Mayer & WhoMadeWho “Hamstring”

  3. Electronica
    That Bicep, all due respect, has the top 4 sewn up with only 3 tracks is worrisome, but solid tunes for the most part.
    Best Song: Kev Sheridan “It’s Gonna Be Perfect” (it’s objectively Bicep “Glue” here but didn’t want to be too obvious)

  4. Hard Techno
    This was Trance in 1999 (trust me…after 52 Essential Mixes listenings..I know). Similar to the Psy Trance genre but without the pussyfooting. Massive strobe light techno and I liked it.
    Best Song: Regis “Looking 4 Balance” (putting that kick-drum front-and-center in the mixdown was a great decision)

  5. Melodic House & Techno
    The tracks are fine but it just feels flat
    Best Song: Artbat Featuring Sailor & I “Best Of Me”

  6. Techno (Raw / Deep / Hypnotic)
    Good!
    Best Song: Robert Hood “The Cure”

  7. Techno (Peak Time / Driving)
    Not as good!
    Best Song: Roberto Capuano & Luigi Madonna “Mad World” (mostly because I enjoy the name Luigi Madonna)

  8. Progressive House
    Actually good! I thought this Beatport-defined genre might’ve jumped the shark into b-side trance but this is far better than that.
    Best Song: Mode Apart “Voyage”

  9. Deep House
    Take the worst set Danny Howells has never played and you have the Deep House Top 10.
    Best Song: Travertia “Utro Na Zemie”

  10. Breaks
    They all sound like they were made in the ‘90’s but I’m alright with that. There are way more breaks tracks than this on Beatport, but I’m guessing the stink of the genre leads labels to call them anything but Breaks.
    Best Song: Perfect Kombo “Revo” (THE track ‘02 Zabiela would’ve ripped the roof of with - not the best track but the one I had the most fun with)

  11. Psy Trance
    It’s kinda fun!
    Best Song: GMS & Stryker “Rikart”

  12. Nu DIsco / Disco
    Just…lazy? Brandon Block probably plays these by himself at home three sheets to the wind and an 8-ball deep. But it’s fun enough, I guess.
    Best Song: Sophie & The Giants “Hypnotized” (Purple Disco Machine Mix)

  13. Drum & Bass
    Should be much higher but a perfect example of an excellent genre dragged down by a poor Top 10.
    Best Song: Bladerunner “Don’t Let Me Go”

  14. Trance
    Not as bad as I expected!
    Best Song: Above & Beyond “Crash” (Blatant “Cafe Del Mar” rip off but I guess I like it)

  15. Leftfield Bass
    Ketaminestep. Betting there’s some good stuff in this genre, just the top ten is mostly garbage. The bottom two bump it up.
    Best Song: J:Kenzo & Amit “Acid Trip” but this is just classified incorrectly so I had to pick another. Denham Audio “Top Buzz” which is excellent.

  16. Minimal / Deep Tech
    Far better than Tech House. But pretty boring, honestly.
    Best Song: I don’t have one.

  17. Afro House
    Sorry, Dixon, this was like listening to paint dry. If I had an afro I’d be offended.
    Best Song: Elfenberg “Rebonds”

  18. Organic House / Downtempo
    What a complete snoozefest.
    Best Song: Amonita “Wisteria”

  19. Bass House
    “I said meet me downstairs at the bar. At the bar. Meet me. Downstairs. I said. Yo.” Idiotic vocals all around.
    Best Song: Volac “Everyone”

  20. House
    Frankie Knuckles rolling over. It’s all just bad.
    Best Song: John Summit “Deep End” (the only one I wasn’t offended by)

  21. Funky/Grooving/Jacking House
    A disgrace but at least it doesn’t pretend to be good.
    Best Song: Stephan M & Laurent Simeca “What A Feeling”

  22. Tech House
    So boring. Would I play these tracks over, say, Trance? Yes. But this is an issue of expectations. A genre for the Traktor Sync generation. Never met a high pass filter they didn’t like.
    Best Song: Dennis Cruz “Five”

  23. Hard Dance/Hardcore
    Ranked ahead of others like Big Room and Electro House because it’s funny. Big Room thinks it’s making good music. Electro House takes itself seriously. HD/Hc knows it’s awful and doesn’t care.
    Best Song: Scooter “FCK 2020” (“We don’t give a penny! FUCK 2020!” Preach Scoooooootaaaaa! I hate all the rules too!!!!!)

  24. Garage/Bassline/Grime
    Terrible!. But if expectations are the mother of disappointment, when there aren’t any there isn’t a mother. Track I chose is a 187 Lockdown redux but whatever. All in all, seems like a pointless genre but I’m 40 so maybe it’s for the kids.
    Best Song: Tenshu “Inside The Ride”

  25. Future House
    I have no idea what this is supposed to mean or what’s going on here.
    Best Song: Don Diablo “Mr Brightside” (it’s so so so bad but it made me laugh)

  26. Dance / Electro Pop
    Stuff for montages or segues on shitty reality television shows. I hope they’re making lots of money.
    Best Song: Tiesto “The Business” (“Let’s get down, let’s get down to business….Give you one more night, one more night, to get this.”)

  27. (TIE) Trap / Hip Hop / R&B
    Not the site for this.
    Best Song: Kumarion “Want It (VIP)”

  28. (TIE) Reggae / Dancehall / Dub
    Why is this even on here. And I mean no judgment upon the genre. This just doesn’t make sense on Beatport.
    Best Song: Dubrunner “Scattershot”

  29. Big Room
    Somebody greenlit Steve Aoki to remix “Thriller”; Guetta…I don’t know what’s going on with him; my choice is actually okay in a Oakenfold 1999 kind of way.
    Best Song: Leykenda “Wild”

  30. Electro House
    Horrific, horrific stuff.
    Best Song: Krunk & Andy Lambert “Get Down” (the piano hook is tolerable, every other song is not)

  31. Dubstep
    The fuck happened here. What a disaster.
    Best Song: There isn’t one.

N/A: DJ Tools

BONUS! The video for Scooter FCK 2020. It’s hilarious. First we save the rave, then we save the world! I fucking love Scooter.

    Excellent work yet again.

    Fair fucks for trawling through that level of shite, JTY!

    jonattonyeah
    Reggae / Dancehall / Dub
    Why is this even on here.

    Reckon it probably does enough to cover the biscuit budget for all the meetings.

      Jon, how long before you run out of material? Let me know when you are taking requests!

        just more evidence that i don’t understand genres in any way.

        Great post all round. Indie dance in at 2. That’s the ticket.

        Amps

        Starting working on 2005 Essential Mixes but if you have any ideas I’m all ears! Might seem silly and pointless, but I honestly quite enjoy doing these as a mental exercise. Finding things in music that I appreciate even if the song or mix or genre objectively sucks.

        @303abuser Yeah there was a ton of overlap and I’m not really sure why one is defined as (A) but the other, which sounds the same, is (B). I assume the label makes that choice. Dunno why anyone would want to fall under “Electro House” at this juncture. Maybe 15 whatever years ago (!!!) when Tiefschwarz was knocking out “Kinda New” and Mylo was doing his thing. But now? Being defined as that is like a leprosy diagnosis.

            jonattonyeah Yeah there was a ton of overlap and I’m not really sure why one is defined as (A) but the other, which sounds the same, is (B)

            my theory is that the people labeling with these genres don’t know the history of the music well enough, so they “mis-label” stuff creating confusion and masses of sub-genres that aren’t really necessary. or it’s just marketing. i’m not really sure and i care way less about it than i did 20 years ago.

              Reckon the genres are waves to be ridden, bandwagons to be jumped on etc. Wish they had some sort of meta tagging on all the tracks, so a track could be in ‘Indie Dance’ but also then be searchable by tags such as acid / 303 / energetic / laid back / vocal / moody / uplifting etc.

                Amps Reckon the genres are waves to be ridden, bandwagons to be jumped on etc.

                Agreed and I think it’s also an issue of visibility. Digging through Indie Dance I found quite a few breakbeat tracks. But they don’t want that tag as I doubt many people even bother looking at that genre. The line between Leftfield House, Electro, and Breaks is often also marginal at best. I guess one is “cool” whereas the other is “not.”

                  Seen some stuff tagged “Juke / Footwork” on Beatport recently. It sounds like music for wankers.

                    That’s Dave’s favourite genre on Beatport.

                    Didn’t realise there were so many!

                    Organic house lol!

                    vegan house next

                    The Horror. The Horror. Great work, glad you survived.

                    I would have ranked Deep House higher but it’s based on the top 10 alone.

                      sbando ranked Deep House higher

                      Yeah as a “genre” (as loose as that seems to be) it’s right up there for me personally. But the Top 10 is just so boring. The likes of Terry Lee Brown Jr., Circulation, Timewriter, Larry Heard, DJ Qu, et cetera, are nowhere to be found.