The thing that puts me off about going to China is the thought of bumping into Dave in a restaurant.

I’d be there knocking back a few beers and looking forward to a mustard crispy duck and pancakes and Dave would be there banging on about the Wade-Giles transliteration and absolutely killing the vibe.

    Smallman1 lol. I generally avoid anyone in a full tracksuit as a rule anyway.

    Can you imagine, the door swings open, you turn around and there’s Dave dressed head to toe in a pastel coloured Kappa number.

    I bet the locals hate him.

      Smallman1

      Lol. If davy bumped into you in a city centre eatery in downtown Bejing, it would go one of two ways, Ed. He would get stage fright, stammer badly then run off in floods of tears, unable to cast any of his usual aspersions your way. Or he would cut you up like Hannibal Lecter and eat you in the restaurant, with Peking sauce.

        Tossing pints over his shoulder into plant pots just in case he gets a bit ‘heady’

          How long are we expecting his flounce to go on for? Thoroughly enjoyed his contribution

            -si- Or he would cut you up like Hannibal Lecter and eat you in the restaurant, with Peking sauce.

            He who laughs last, laughs loudest!

            Millsy they think he deals speed

            Lol.

            The worst dressed speed dealer in Beijing.

            Along_the_Wire he usually rejuvenates like Dr Who and comes back as «insert location» Dave. I’m actually hoping he comes back as a woman this time.

              -si- Is this before or after Ed jumps in the nearest river?

              -si- Or he would cut you up like Hannibal Lecter and eat you in the restaurant, with Peking sauce.

              Incorrect Si you absolute belter. Everyone who knows anything about Chinese food knows a Hongshao sauce is best for stringy, sinewy meat.

                Good to have you back, Dave

                Millsy Tossing pints over his shoulder into plant pots just in case he gets a bit ‘heady’

                A bit like that scene in Trainspotting when Franco Begbie throws his glass over his shoulder

                “NAEBODY MOVE…..NAEBODY FUCKING MOVE…..That plant got watered and nae cunt leaves till I find out what cunt did it!”

                  Old-Dutch “NAEBODY MOVE…..NAEBODY FUCKING MOVE…..That plant got watered and nae cunt leaves till I find out what cunt did it!”

                  Cartoon patter of footsteps.

                  Loud splash

                  Dave, the ying to my yang!

                  Good to have you back!