Sunak (General U.K. is Jaded thread)

Tories at their very best:

I’d assume this goes down as attempted murder. Shameful if it’s anything less.

What was she doing walking in the middle of the road? 4×4s have right of way in the countryside

Hursty You play with fire and you get burnt. I doubt an ambulance will get there. Probably blocked by Stop the Oil

alistair You play with fire and you get burnt

Jesus fucking wept.

I’d imagine if there was a top ten gammon quote thread on here, your post would be number one, with the other 9 populated with your other lazy right-wing tropes. Have you considered a career posting in the comments section of The Times? A promising career awaits.

Your Honour, the defendant, Lord Winterbourne, is a managing director of an ailing oil company and hedge fund manager. On the date in question, the defendant drove carefully down the narrow country lane in his Land Rover 4×4 vehicle, having completed his charitable work in aid of foxes and keen that he should arrive punctually for his shift at the inner city food bank. Mindful that he should not let down the people who are inexplicably too poor to eat because they were unable find a job that paid more money, he drove at a steady pace along the narrow country lane.

Being of a nervous disposition, he was shocked and distressed to happen upon a crazed, violent terrorist who launched herself at the vehicle from the side of the road. Fearing for his his life and that of the assorted bloodhounds and beagles in the rear of the vehicle, the defendant sought to avert the circumstances of danger by increasing his speed in an effort to flee the hostile situation that presented itself to him. In the circumstances, it was not possible to slow nor to avert his course of travel lest he be attacked by the forming gang of marauders on the side of the country lane. It was, Your Honour, a regrettable but unfortunately necessary course of action.