• General

  • FAO to the A to the O of Sean of Rhouses

Hey, I get deliveries from the best restaurants in town, Derms, just “how I roll” as Smallman would say.

I cannot cook a decent curry (or Chinese), simple as that. And I’m not getting deliveries from somewhere shit, absolute waste of money.

Let me put it this way Dave, I’d be the one telling you to shut up if you even attempted to order Indian food in my presence.

There is no way that restaurant is Michelin starred going by the pictures. How did it manage to squeeze itself into the guide?

    rhouses How did it manage to squeeze itself into the guide?

    Same way you manage to squeeze yourself into your mobility scooter. No-one knows quite how, but there you are!

      rhouses Is there a menu?

      No, it’s that exclusive.

      I just rang them up and basically said “Mate, I see you’re in the Michelin Guide yeah? Well if anyone knows how to cook up a properly spicy Chicken Jalfrezy and Garlic Naan like that proper Indian food what you get in the UK it will be you. Send it within an hour or I’ll come and turn your restaurant upside down.”

        “Give me some of those potato balls as well. A-BOSH!”

        “If this fucking food isn’t here in the next 20 minutes I will be forced to pen a strongly worded letter! Good day to you, sir!”

        “WHERES MY FUCKING POPPADOMS, YOU CUNTS?”

        bosstrabs Just discovered I have a Michelin-starred Indian in my neighbourhood!

        rhouses There is no way that restaurant is Michelin starred going by the pictures.

        Aww bless, Dave thinks that a restaurant being listed in the Michelin guide must mean it has a star!

        The restaurant is clearly listed, but also has not been awarded a star (as should be obvious to anyone actually familiar with such things by the lack of * star on the listing).

            On another note, as I’d already posted in one of Dave’s other threads on China, the general standard of food is probably so low that likely anywhere which doesn’t instantaneously give you salmonella/norovirus/botulism etc. automatically gets listed.
            There’s some proper fucking shite looking places listed for Beijing, including that Indian gaffe.

            Here are some more tempting looking places:

            https://guide.michelin.com/en/beijing-municipality/beijing/restaurant/liu-quan-ju

            https://guide.michelin.com/en/beijing-municipality/beijing/restaurant/jingyi

            bosstrabs Invite sent, Hugo!

            To Aspergers School.

            If “Bants School” is where you supposedly learn to have bants, then “Aspergers School” would be where you supposedly learn to have aspergers - so you saying you’ve sent me an invite would mean you don’t think I already have aspergers, which is a change of tune for you!

                bosstrabs I’d send you an invite to some kind of culinary tasting course, but such a thing won’t exist in China; it appears the only schools you can attend there are state-sponsored “re-education camps”.

                  hugopal Correct Hugo, I think you have autism but not full blown ASPERGERS. Just like you have HIV but not full blown AIDS yet.

                      bosstrabs Correct Hugo, I think you have autism but not full blown ASPERGERS. Just like you have HIV but not full blown AIDS yet.

                      Considering you’ve probably contracted full blown AIDS from your dodgy Chinese hookers I bet you’re aware of all the signs.

                        I wouldn’t be surprised if Raj in Beijing served crow in that jalfrezi Dave ordered.

                          rhouses Don’t worry, I smashed up their restaurant anyway and left some racist graffiti on the doors.