Dating apps and war stories

Kells77

Jules72 She’s pretty but that is some severe duck face. Why? Does this appeal to you guys? Serious question.

Amps

Kells77 Does this appeal to you guys? Serious question.

It doesn’t, it’s just some weird idea / pastiche of what femininity is that some of you lot have gotten on to and made into a ‘thing’. It’s very prevalent here in the NW of England, as is the ‘Scouse brow’, which is essentially a woman with heavy Drag Race style eyebrows. Hateful the lot of it.

SM001

Kells77 It doesn’t.

Mad_Cyril

Kells77 Does this appeal to you guys?

Looks ridiculous. Rings the alarms for ‘self obsessed’, ‘attention seeker’ or ‘dangerously insecure’.

Probably a lovely lady and it’s me whose a horrible human being

Along_the_Wire

Kells77 She is fucking horrific.

Hursty

Not at all, any face modifications look hilarious to me. People actually pay money to look worse, I can’t fathom it.

benson

Not sure if I have told this one before. And she lives / lived in tooting so perfect for OLB. Met a girl on Tinder. All seemed quite nice till she comes round one afternoon and is a bit weird and gets weirder. I mean properly weird. Like freaking me out slurring and odd thoughts. I try and take her home and she starts shouting at me that she isn’t going to get in my car. This is outside my place and I am starting to freak out that somebody is going to call the police.

2 days later, and with apparently no memory of anything she fesses up via text that she took something ‘to relax her’ before she came round as she was feeling anxious. Who the fuck takes roofies before going rounds to somebody’s house for the first time? A liverner maybe, but roofies or whatever they were.

S to the WERVE. But she was other than that a lovely person, quite hot and she was doing well for herself in life.

I’e got a feeling that after that disastrous date in the day, I got a call from a lovely american lady and ended up at messy jason’s party on North London. God living in London was fun.

Ed I probably still have her number somewhere if you want it.

Amps

benson messy jason’s party on North London

What is this a euphemism for?

vinnyt77

benson I love that ‘messy jason’ means I instantly know who you’re talking about…

jonattonyeah

benson

But was she hot.

That’s all that really matters.

Smallman1

benson Ed I probably still have her number somewhere if you want it.

Sure, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

benson

Amps No euphemism. It was a party in a pub in north london. It was the way I rolled when single.

Mad_Cyril

Jules72

Handy that it says ‘woman’, could easily be ‘alien’.

benson

Along_the_Wire I concur. Mad as a box of frogd

-si-

Kells77 Does this appeal to you guys? Serious question.

Nope. OTT fillers/botox screams needy. Likely to spend more time updating her 15 social media apps than talking to you. Fun and natural photos on a date are likely to involve 23 takes and a tantrum when you don’t give her enough light and haven’t snapped when she is peak pout.

benson

As above. Some super hot chicks are lovely. Many are not. She strikes me as a not. And she is not ‘super hot’ either

Kells77

Thanks for the responses lads. These pouts always remind me of a toddler not getting their way, and from the sound of it, that’s what you lot get with these lasses 😂

Mad_Cyril

Kells77 Usually surrounded by those lads ‘dave’ is fond of in aspiration (but naff) bars

Jules72

Of course she’s horrific…. just thought the text was amusing!

Dan

What those lonely heart ads really mean…

40-ish………………..49

Adventurous……………Slept with all your mates

Athletic………………No tits

Average looking………..Has a face like an arse

Beautiful……………..Pathological liar

Contagious Smile……….Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure……..On medication

Feminist………………Fat

Free spirit……………Junkie

Friendship first……….Former slut

Gentle………………..Dull

Good Listener………….Autistic

New-Age……………….Body hair problems

Old-fashioned………….No BJs or ana1

Open-minded……………Desperate

Outgoing………………Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate…………….Sloppy drunk

Poet………………….Depressive

Professional…………..B*tch

Romantic………………Frigid

Voluptuous…………….Very Fat

Large lady…………….Hugely Fat

Wants Soulmate…………Stalker

Widow…………………Murderer

Likes eating out……..fat cunt

Seeks knight in shining armour….ex is a psycho

Kells77

Dan Seeks knight in shining armor = Needy bitch that can’t do anything by herself imo

jonattonyeah

Dan

LOL you sound like you have a neck beard.

Hursty

Lol!

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