bosstrabs Hugo has just PMd me, volunteering to do April and May.
Mad_Cyril Imagine having to be bailed out by Hugo.
Lol. Iâm definitely not doing all of those, but having looked at the list I was curious about the first one in April anyway, so Iâll do a one-off guest review. Youâre still on the hook for the rest, and there are a couple from March youâve not done yet either!âŚ
06-04 Sven Väth
The year is 1985. A bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Sven Väth emerges from ballet school, and devises a plan with his dear friend Michael to find an excuse to prance about on TV. Desperate music industry executives in a culturally bereft and irrelevant divided Germany give the pair a record contract with little objection. âOffâ are born, and with little in the way of competition on the German airwaves, they garner some initial buzz. But then, disaster!
An appearance on German show âDiscoringâ, performing their latest single âElectrica Salsaâ⌠Not even the ravenous mob of teenagers in the audience fed on a diet of David Hasselhoff and cheap amphetamines could deflect from the sudden realisation of what viewers were watching - the Emperor has no clothes! âOffâ were turned off - as the duo were swiftly dropped by their label.
Fast-forward a decade, their music dream in tatters, and the pair are making ends meet working at the local Volkswagen factory soldering electrical components. Working overtime late one evening, Sven starts fiddling with the radio playing on the factory floor. At some point, the receiver picks up the crackling signal of a pirate radio station wafting across from Berlin, on which a DJ is playing Juan Atkins and Basic Channel records.
âAch, Mein Gott!â squeeled Sven. âWas ist diese moderately paced music, vich machs mein toes tvinkle, und mein Herz so desolate feel als ein nacht-time autobahn in vinter?! Michael, maybe ve can mach somezing similar mit diese Machinen hier. Du hast ein tape-recorder, ja?â
âRichtig. Was fĂźr eine tolle Idee! And this music has no lyrics, so we donât have to hear your shitty voice again!â
So the pair got to work, staying behind every evening after all their colleagues had gone home.
âMichael, how is it venn ich diesen button push?â âOhh, es macht ein Fizz!â
âVass venn ich pull dis knob?â âEs ist wunderschĂśn Sven!â
âUnd venn I vack mein hammer on this shaft?â âJa⌠Donât stop Sven!â
âDis work macht mich schvett. Ich muss weg mit mein top.â âAh Sven, all dis hart labor hast du schwollâ.
And so, many months and dinners of cold bratwurst later, their cassette was finally complete.
âSven, vass should ve mit diss do?â
Again, Sven turned to the radio. Fiddling with the knob once more, a voice called to him: âWelcome to another edition of the Essential Mix, with me Pete Tongâ.
Sven chucked the cassette in to an envelope addressed to Pete Tong at the BBC, along with a slip signed âSven Väth, Germanyâ.
On receiving the tape, Tong thought it was pretty good and worth playing. He wondered whether he should try and get a bit more information about the artist before doing so, but then figured that it wasnât necessary. âYouâre listening to Sven Vath, from Germanyâ he says over the mix. No more context is provided, or needed.
Meine Bewertung: âSiebzig von Neunundneunzig Luftballons.â
Grantâs rating: âPots and pans. Foreign muck. 2/10.â
