The lass I went out on a date with last night thought she was going out with Jason Statham.

Was all over me like a rash!

Not surprising, the ladies have always liked me, it’s the chocolate box good looks and double nawty bants.

Admittedly I’ve not bothered with any Jason Statham output since The Transporter, but didn’t realise nowadays he has a neck like a stringbean and laces tighter a headphone cord that’s been buried at the bottom of a rucksack for 10 months.

We’re going to get along one day Dave, I just know it!

I’ll take you to North China for top food and top bants, you’ll love it!

Can’t wait Smalls.

I’ll interrogate them on their dishes. In perfect Mandarin with a rhotic Beijing accent. For 30 minutes.

I’ll just order the crispy chilli beef and move from there.

Seeing as though we are all telling lies, I’ve just bought a big red fire truck and and I’m driving around in it filled with puppies.

    LOL

    PS what are we laughing at?

    If you have to ask you’re clearly not cool enough to know

    Along_the_Wire Is there a sport that isn’t for cunts, Grant? lol.

    Besides cycling, which have the biggest cunts in the history of sport!

        rhouses Is there a sport that isn’t for cunts, Grant? lol.

        It’s all relative, Rhouses. I prefer sport with slightly lesser cunts.