Who Wrote the Haunted House?

Hugo First

ā€œDoctor, I think Iā€™m a moth.ā€

ā€œItā€™s not a doctor you need, itā€™s a psychiatrist.ā€

ā€œI was on my way there when I saw your light onā€

Iā€™ll stop there.

What do you call a black guy who can fly a plane?

A pilot you racist.

Yo mamma so fat, the tag in her dress says ā€œsize: Rhousesā€!

My mum and dad were dwarfs.

All their lives they struggled to put food on the table.

Zackster can have a lol for that sterling effort!

20 days later

I played football last night on a surface made up of rubble and compacted bricks.

We won 3-2 on aggregate

Just read about a fella that died after eating a bag of liquorice a day.
Poor family must be going through all sorts .

    A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, ā€œWhatā€™s that for?ā€ ā€œItā€™s for your headache.ā€ ā€œI donā€™t have a headache.ā€ ā€œGotcha!ā€

    Heard some news today, which I didnā€™t knowā€¦. interestingly ants never actually get sick, they just die. This rare phenomenon is because all of them have little antibodies.

    13 days later

    What have Man Utd, The Black Eyed Peas and Prince Andrew got in common?

    It all went tits up when Fergie left.

      The problem is Scott, you didnā€™t.

      You shoehorned a poor punchline into a pedestrian idea for a ā€˜topicalā€™ joke.