Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium.

Me: 0mg

A good friend of mine died recently, total disaster in the end as they couldn’t work out his blood type. He kept saying to me “B positive, B positive.” but I’ll be honest, I’m struggling.

Male honey bees die after mating.

Consider that the next time you eat a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios

I always want to downvote CJ’s posts as standard, so that deserved upvote is kind of like a ‘double upvote’ (one to cancel the negative plus a bonus)

If someone could post a funny joke that would be great.

Cheers.

What does Smallman get called when he goes to China?

Ol’ Reg-y Bants

a year later

What’s Mr. T’s favourite dessert?

Try Fool!

I was going to say there’s another better thread for jokes, then I read that shit show and fair dos. Keep it here .

    3 months later

    Having just been knighted, more bad news has bestowed Lewis Hamilton as he’s found out his application to join Musical Youth has been rejected on the grounds that he couldn’t “pass the Dutchie on the left hand side”

    Made me laugh. Tough crowd! I’ll see myself out…

      ScottBailey Don’t mind them, Scott. They don’t know comic genius when they hear it. I’ll have the family ROTFLing telling them that one at Christmas. upvoted

        Cracker, Scott. Ignore these javelins

        Unbelievable joke, Scott. Breathtaking, even. Don’t let these Palestine’s get you down.

        …first day as a delivery driver for Mt Kipling I had to do an emergency stop.

        Fortunately the lorry had exceedingly good brakes.