I’ve been in the ‘at risk’ category since prior to the start of the pandemic, requiring immunosuppressant medication to manage an autoimmune triggered renal condition. This obviously means that at I’m at the front of the queue for all vaccinations, including COVID-19.
Throughout the pandemic I lived with the constant fear that my compromised immune system would eventually mean I end up another statistic, with a school-aged daughter and a wife working in education it seemed a forgone conclusion that we’d get hit at some point.
The only potential solution available to me was to take the vaccines, every six months, and hope for the best. Trust in the science and those making the decisions.
In December 2023 I was diagnosed with heart failure, with no attributable root cause, I have had a pacemaker fitted and physically I’m doing okay. Now I’m still at the front of the queue for ALL vaccinations but find myself increasingly wary of signing up. Despite being, arguably, even higher at risk.
Why is that?
The mental impact of discovering and managing the conditions I have, along with associated fears and unknowns, like COVID-19 that’s everyone had to deal with, has has taken its toll. I have no shame in saying that I’m a bit of a fucking mess right now, but getting help.
Since the pandemic there have been so many folks keen to post unsubstantiated claims regarding vaccine conspiracies, vaccine complications, and any number of wild theories on the Internet. It’s everywhere, impossible to avoid. The relationship between COVID-19 vaccines and heart complications being one of the more popular.
Add that to an already fragile mental state and problems start to occur.
Over the last week I’ve cancelled and rebooked my COVID-19 vaccination appointment three times and I’m probably on the brink of being barred by the NHS booking system! Part of the reason is no doubt the concern caused, accentuated by my own mental state, by claims from folks who chucking out partial evidence to support whatever theory is currently bugging them.
No doubt people have the right question things they seem as wrong, but equally they need to consider whether they professed evidence genuinely supports this narrative before sharing with the world. And whether they are qualified to make that distinction.
A long weeds post, for sure, but maybe some food for thought. I was, and still remain, strongly pro-vaccine, but all the conspiracies make me question regularly, make me paranoid, impact my mental health, and potentially my physical health too.
