• General

  • What have you falsely claimed to have done?

For me, I have claimed to have read, and enjoyed, Ulysses.

And actually, I can hold a passable conversation about it, having basically read The Cliff’s Notes and enough articles banging on about how great it is. Fact is, I read about the first two chapters and just couldn’t be arsed with it.

I haven’t read all that many of the ‘classics’, although I have pretended I have at various times to bullshit my way through conversations. *(Although I have genuinely read and thoroughly enjoyed most of F Scott Fitzgerald, Kingsley and Martin Amis’, George Orwell, Albert Camus and Evelyn Waugh’s output)

For me, I have claimed to have read and enjoyed, one of Dave’s threads. Not this one though.

I have never falsely claimed to have bothered to read Amps’ shit tip of a Twitter shit-posting spamming session.

Normally, I just don’t return to the thread after Amps has turned it into what the seppos call a ‘dumpster fire’.

A night out with Dave would be absolutely horrific.

Him waffling on and lying about having read Ulysses all whilst ditching drinks in the nearest plant pot.

I think the word I’m looking for is BERK.

A night out with me would be absolutely horrific. FOR YOU.

Muscling in as you ‘suave the Dorises’… “Oh, I see you’ve met Edward Smallman, he lived with his parents until he was 35 and now has a house without a functioning roof or doorbell in the grottiest part of London”

    bosstrabs A night out with me would be absolutely horrific. FOR YOU.

    You can have a lol for that!

      bosstrabs he lived with his parents until he was 35 and now has a house without a functioning roof or doorbell

      😆

        I don’t actually like Jeff Mills’s music, at all. When I say I like something he did, I haven’t even listened to it. Load of old cement mixer tosh, simple as.

          I used to lie about supporting a hockey team in my teens. Never gave a shit, but where I grew up you were a wrongun if you didn’t enjoy hockey. Must be how it’s with football in the UK.

          I once sat through the final of X Factor, all three hours of it, feigning interest so as to get my leg over. I slept on the sofa.

          Must have been hard that Hanners, pretending to like ice hockey, when all you wanted to really do was DANCE!

            Millsy I’d rather have been home reading Stephen King, and listening to Slayer than at some mates house watching hockey.

            • Amps replied to this.

                zackster I don’t actually like Jeff Mills’s music, at all. When I say I like something he did, I haven’t even listened to it. Load of old cement mixer tosh, simple as.

                You’re blatantly only trying to disown him now after his recent shitshow with trying to defend his playing at the Soundstorm festival funded by the Saudi Arabian government by comparing Kraftwerk to Nazis:

                https://www.juno.co.uk/junodaily/2021/11/26/jeff-mills-defends-controversial-riyadh-festival-booking/

                https://selector.news/2021/11/22/mdl-beast-soundstorm-2021-lineup-blood-money/?fbclid=IwAR0XAVnTAv4iqic8PnytemC8Q5L9-ppBSTSVVAYs7mQwbKbscCYgRBkgp-w

                https://grayarea.co/magazine/jeff-mills-responds-to-concerns-over-saudi-arabias-soundstorm-festival

                    Amps 3 × 20 minutes. But they stop the clock when there’s a break in action, unlike in football. Couple of matches per week.

                    • Amps replied to this.

                        I once convinced an absolute truncheon on GU called Gaetano Mosca that I’d had a night out with Al Pacino and Hilary Swank in British Columbia when they were shooting Insomnia (2002)

                        An absolute lie, of course. Al had better things to do. Robin did pop in for a quick one, however, and apparently went on to a full on alcoholic relapse after the shoot.

                        Absolutely nothing to do with me I assure you!!

                        Homegrove So you’re looking at about three hours a week watching something you’re not into. Grim. I couldn’t have done that with X Factor…