whatever but within the space of a few years it just turned into a commercial sound and scene that attracted bellends to clubs that were all about wearing designer labels, Bronson and swigging Kristal.

Enter Edwand!

OLB coming in like a wrecking ball!

Handful of tracks that still sound good. Nu Birth Anytime, Roy Davis Jr Gabriel and MJ Cole Sincere spring to mind.

    Just watched a few minutes of a DJ EZ Boiler Room, he’s about 4ft 5.

    Hold my beer!

    Shock horror - a music genre had some belting tunes, some crap ones and when it went mainstream it got rinsed with people making money

    This was the only good thing to come out of the UK garage scenezz.

      A good friend of mine grew up with Deekline.

      Which is nice.

      KLANG.

      It’s great to see Dave, Alistair and headwand all having something in common. Even if it is something so absolutely dreadful in every way imaginable.

        Have ledged it with Alistair in person.

        Sasha at Fabric last December.

        Hursty was in the house too!

        Millsy Bo Selecta appears to be getting a kicking these days, but I bloody loved it at the time. (Can’t stand Keith Lemon though)

          I was at Pacha, Ibiza in around 2005 or so and Harry Romero played Double 99 - Ripgroove which was very random in the context of the rest of his set, but it got an unbelievable reaction, the place went nuts

            gcw Double 99 - Ripgroove

            Massive tune, but it’s surely more speed garage.

            gcw I remember turning on channel 4 after coming back from the pub and the sketch above was on. I had never heard of Bo Selecta and had a seething hatred for speed garage and Craaaig Daaavid, so I ended up in a pretzel position from laughing so hard.

            • gcw replied to this.

              Millsy just the whole concept of it was brilliant, with Kes and his piss bag. Then you had Michael Jackson, Mel B etc. Quite original I thought

              It wasn’t until years later that I realised that the girl in the Jacko sketches (Bubbles) was Caroline Flack

              Bo was genius at the time. Hard to believe Lemon deteriorated into such an unlikeable, unfunny cunt.

              Don’t know what classification it comes under but the AVH remix of professional widow is still one of the great crossover remixes

                Can I shock you all?

                I like Keith Lemon.

                Your offerings have been even more noticeably worthless this week Smallman. Literally all of it is just drivel.

                  Can you imagine the scones if me, Smalls and Alistair met up for a UKG rewind, head to toe in Moschino, suaving the treacles and swigging Bollinger straight from the jeroboams? While taunting Zackster in his Phila jersey and Starter Cap via Zoom from the VIP area?

                  Off the chain doesn’t even describe it.

                    Smallman walking round handing out ‘invites’ to South London roadmen.

                      Gun crime in nightclubs would soar overnight

                      Me offering DJ EZ a crate to stand on and insisting he plays Zed Bias ‘Neighbourhood’ (NOT the vocal version).

                      DJ Zinc - 138 Trek, what a banger this was…

                        People passing by the club entrance would assume that its an Order of Malta fancy dress Halloween Party where the carers have all been poisoned and locked in a store room.

                          bosstrabs Another breakbeat track used by garage djs like Doom’s Night

                          seanc80 Your offerings have been even more noticeably worthless this week Smallman. Literally all of it is just drivel.

                          This thread had gone full lift off!

                          bosstrabs Smallman walking round handing out ‘invites’ to South London roadmen.

                          Lol!

                          Millsy That’s racist now, millsy.

                          Tuts condescendingly

                          alistair Don’t know what classification it comes under but the AVH remix of professional widow is still one of the great crossover remixes

                          It just sounds like funky house really. It has a standard 4/4 beat and a french house/Subliminal-esque disco bassline.

                          It certainly isn’t UK Garage.

                            hugopal Armand van Helden’s remixes of Spin Spin Sugar and Professional Widow were widely regarded as the pioneering Speed Garage tracks.

                              bosstrabs Can you imagine the scones if me, Smalls and Alistair met up for a UKG rewind, head to toe in Moschino, suaving the treacles and swigging Bollinger straight from the jeroboams? While taunting Zackster in his Phila jersey and Starter Cap via Zoom from the VIP area?

                              Off the chain doesn’t even describe it.

                              “Off the chain”?

                              Goldie lookin chain more like!

                              bosstrabs Armand van Helden’s remixes of Spin Spin Sugar and Professional Widow were widely regarded as the pioneering Speed Garage tracks.

                              Spin Spin Sugar is noticeably Speed Garage sounding.

                              I can accept people calling Professional Widow Speed Garage as well, but regardless of what it turned in to it still just sounds like a regular funky house track more than a speed garage tune, even if it was influential. I think they get a bit lazily lumped together both being massive tunes made by AVH, even though they’re not that similar.