Mad_Cyril forced to go on a tour of Cluuuuuuuurblaaaand with Green Velvet

How is that a punishment?

    Shooting DJ Stars
    Join us this week for the critically acclaimed action and community service themed show where we join international hearthrob, full time gangsta and all round rack of lamb, DJ Sneak as he cruises the dark back alleys of clubland looking for digital DJ boxes. Anyone unlucky enough to be holding a USB stick or entertaining the idea of a CDJ is immediately deemed FAKE and shot in the face with an untraceable firearm. Sneak will then set the guilty DJ box on fire. After a hard days graft we roll back to Sneak’s crib where he wines and dines us in his backyard with a greasy cookout, some traditional dog fighting and a bonus take down of some house pussies on Twitter using the big screen. PG 18.

      Saville Row

      Jim Saville re-invents himself as a missionary with his sole aim to save the hundreds of distressed young men on death row in Louisiana. Episode two reveals his ulterior motive.

      • Dan replied to this.

        A Question Of Bangers

        Drug-focused electronic music type caper where top spinners from around the globe get stuck into a lod of ket/pills/coke in the various rooms in their houses filmed in a ‘mystery guest’/ question of sport style. We, the pensive audience, get to guess who each one is.

        Potential ‘Through The Keyhole’ type spinoff. Or maybe im actually just thinking of this show all along.

        YOU DECIDE

          Jackmaster’s Taskmaster
          Jackmaster hosts a comedy panel game show as he gets a group of DJs to compete at completing a set of hilarious tasks such as molesting as many club attendees as possible while on GHB, and trying to squeeze one out into the most creative household appliance they can come up with (kettle, toaster, microwave, etc.).

          Holmes Under The Hammer

          After all the gigs dried up in the early 2000’s, Holmes Under The Hammer sees former DJ ‘David Holmes’ touring round all the derelict night clubs up and down the UK (due to COVID) that are going to auction, telling anecdotes about getting loaded with Bobby Gillespie “back in the day” and doing lines off a vinyl copy of Jeff Mills ‘Bells’ with Sven Vath in “that very DJ booth”.
          After the auction is concluded, he talks to the buyer about how the club scene isn’t what it used to be like in the early 90s, and that they should turn it into office blocks as there’s no money in clubbing anymore; “Film scores are where it’s at these days! Just ask Paul Oakenfold…”

            Monkey Tennis
            Paul Oakenfold and Ricardo Villalobos play tennis.

              ScottBailey lol, I actually remember buying his Swordfish soundtrack. Played it once. Joke on me

                Cunt

                James Holden finally disappears up his own arsehole, creating an enormous vacuum of cuntage to be filled by Zabiela and Dixon

                Grant Cook Wont Cook
                Show where Grant competes against Dj’s he dislikes where contestants compete with Grant to eat kitchen utensils such as alluminium colanders.

                Bullet In The Gun House

                Pat Sharp brings back the old format, but this time contestants have to guess the “Prog’ Classic” from a 5 second soundbyte. Correct answer gets the chance to chase Paul Oakenfold round ‘The House’ with .45, to the soundtrack of Bullet In The Gun. Meanwhile the twins are also brought back to les’ off in the background.

                Age of Love Island, with Charlotte de Witte

                Exactly the same as the original, but slightly worse.

                  Dirty Roger Sanchez.
                  DJ Roger Sanchez pranks his way round the Gower Peninsula before finally being arrested for stapling himself to sheep but is released after being given Another Chance.