Wife: “We’re not doing Valentine’s Day this year are we?”
Me: “Sure, happy not to do it this year” [* remembers Valentine’s Day 2021 when she also said that and got the hump when I didn’t give her flowers. Then had to pay a load of money to get flowers delivered on the day before divorce o’clock*]
Wife (intermittently for the next few days) referencing Valentine’s Day at every opportunity.
Me: No comment
Me: Order flowers, card etc. for Valentine’s Day.
Wife: [on Valentine’s Day] I thought we weren’t doing anything. You didn’t have to buy me anything.
Me: Groans
Wife hurriedly goes out to shops on Valentine’s day to get me a card and some chocolates.
Valentine's Day
As always, my postman needs back surgery having struggled to deliver all of the cards I got sent.
Thought and prayers for Mrs Rhouses and her bucket. If anyone needed a break it’s that woman.
My wife just called me. She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous.” I said, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”
Roses are red
Bee Gees are disco
You may be hot
But you ain’t Trisco
Was in Paris the weekend with the missus , could not believe that Ireland happened to be playing and I had tickets and my mates happened to show up
Rhouses are red
Violets are blue
A lucky Indian lady
Just found a turd in her loo
Lol’s for ScottBailey and Dave!
9 days later
lols for dan, mc, & dave.
Fuck you guys.
a year later
Come on Ed, spill the beans, what did you give/receive today as the board suave master?
The postman must really hate Ed on Valentine’s day. Proper puts his back out every year carrying all those scented letters and assorted fancies.
Edwand Receiving chuckles
’No I’ve never even heard of pegging ed’.