You’re an animal, dermo, make no mistake.

Have just taken a shit up the Shard. Quite literally a poo with a view

For the spreadsheet, wiping was the only option

mono-stereo We all know the Jaipurnese have good shitters.

What about the Indians though?

    Cankles-McJeggings Arseholes in India are pristine nationwide.

    Admittedly, I’d be weary of the hands of folks who opt in for a mug for the splash and dash method versus the bum gun.

      Cankles-McJeggings

      Here are the steps:

      1. Wipe down with dry toilet paper for excess removal.
      2. 4-5 shots of water. Adjust pressure to avoid mishaps.
      3. Repeat step 1.

      I know you lot like to stick to just Step 1, but for appropriate Arsehole Hygiene, it’s without a doubt a three step process.

        So you do actually smeer shit all round your arsehole then blast it off. Do you think blasting it off keeps everything neatly in your hole or there’s a propulsion of tiny droplets absolutely jam packed with micro turds flying all over the room?

          Cankles-McJeggings o you do actually smeer shit all round your arsehole then blast it off. Do you think blasting it off keeps everything neatly in your hole or there’s a propulsion of tiny droplets absolutely jam packed with micro turds flying all over the room?

          id imagine Rhouses might possibly put that in the ‘worst case scenario’ category.

            Cankles-McJeggings

            Lol. Rhouses splats himself in eye, again, as he squats over a mirror with his karcher jet washer, to try to free that final piece of last night’s dinner that’s glued to the hair on his arse.

              He tries to make out it’s a precision, somehow surgical, procedure but we all know it’ll be agricultural like a farmer pressure blasting his silage pit out. Just remember that if he’s ever preparing food for you .

              Absolutely, Comer. Worst case scenario.

              And in the interest of transparency, if you go with bum blast pressure these mishaps happen. If you go with bum hug pressure, 4-5 shots do the job. Lacking confidence, do a double check of the toilet paper in step 3, post dry down, really you have nothing to worry about. It’s a foolproof process.

              Either way, install a bum gun in your toilets you heathens.

              Would love to take a swab of

              A) said turd blaster
              B) Your arm
              C) the surrounding area of the bathroom
              D) Your clothes

              Would be looking something like this if I was doing it too