Dating apps and war stories

Jules72 it looks like she spends her entire day sniffing the cleaning products

You poor sod, Jules.

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Marry her.

It would be quite valid having a piece who takes care of all the tidying in a proper way.

She’d probably make a banging cheese toastie and mug of tea for you while you watched Grandstand, no complaints either.

bosstrabs
She’d do your nut in after a while, hovering around with a dustpan and brush just in case you dropped a crumb.

Good to see Dave is posting from the 1980s.

Smallman1 Go and fix your roof, you sloppy bastard.

If I told you the latest with my roof you would laugh Dave.

Literally couldn’t make it up at this point.

Smallman1
Still not fixed. Is it pitched or flat.

It’s not no.

Over £4k in the hole now too, reg.

Pitched!

Smallman1
Hope it wasn’t a cash & no receipt job. Does it need a scaffold jut take a look.

Smallman1 Some cunt came in and took a chunk out of my bedroom wall too

How the fook did someone do that. Did he put his foot through the ceiling.

Was a cash and no receipt job.

No scaffolding required.

3 different ‘roofers’ can’t work it out, don’t know what to do, am at my wits end.

Smallman1
Have you tried checkatrade yet?

bosstrabs 'Aoibhe. Aoibhe! They’ve done the ceiling, I don’t know how, but they’ve tarmacked the ceiling!'

Dubman Have you tried checkatrade yet?

I haven’t.

Any cop?

Smallman1 Shirley Smallman Snr. knows someone? Didn’t he do a gaff up not long ago?

Think a VAT registered firm might be worth a look at this stage. One that guarantees the work and issues receipts.

Amps Shirley Smallman Snr. knows someone? Didn’t he do a gaff up not long ago?

A friend of his from the gym recommended me the firm that cost me over £3k!

All of his recommendations are getting the s to the werve from here on in.