Smallman1 find a female friend you call me Julie so the family stops asking uncomfortable questions about your lifestyle!

    Smallman1 a massive collective ‘phew’ at the fact she wasn’t on Check-a-Trade.

      I think the relief is that I’ve finally been tamed.

      I just thank the lord I got to have so much fun in the process, literally hundreds of hearts broken!

      Literally not one word of that is remotely accurate, which is an achievement in itself.

      The remarkable thing is that it’s all true!

      Smallman1 All the Smallman’s love me Julie, it’s because she’s a top top bird!

        hugopal And how would you fucking know?

        The last time you slept with a bird was probably when you clambered into you mum’s bed after wetting yours aged 17.

            For the last two months, we have replaced rice (besides biryani) with quinoa. It works!

              Millsy Taste, textures, and I don’t want to fall asleep after lunch. Easy on the tummy as well.

                Life hack: unbuckle your belt after a big meal to feel less full and more comfortable