I’m partial to depression as is… It runs in the family. Being ADD, that can also drive it too when things don’t go right and there’s been a lot of things not going right during all of this! I was off work from January to July and my motivation was next to nil. It was fine from January-March, because I was actively job-hunting but then we all started living in the Upsidedown. The companies I was interviewing with decided that they didn’t want to continue with hiring and I was quite literally in the final interview stages with a couple. Luckily an old boss thought of me and brought me on, but I’m making $5.00/hr less than I was before.

I’ve barely made any music. I like to be fit and active, so generally I play team sports or referee them to stay fit (and make a bit of dosh on the side), but I’m not a self-motivator so going for a run or working out on my own isn’t something that works for me. I need a time and a place to be and the thought of letting people down if I don’t go.

I’ve put on about fifteen pounds due to the inactivity over the past while due to the lack of sports, so it’s a real shitter when I’m used to being pretty damned fit. The upside is that on Sunday evenings I have started playing indoor 8-a-side footy, but it’s not enough. I need a few more activities to get the weight off and feeling just a lot healthier. Winter is coming too, so I’m hoping that means I’ll be more motivated to do music because that’s also really suffered. It looks like we’re headed for another lockdown again here in my province, so fuck knows what I’m going to do to figure out how to work off the weight. My Sunday football game is precarious under these circumstances.

I really want organized sports to come back. They’re a godsend for my depression. The upside is that I have a little fella now that provides endless entertainment and umconditional love, so those dark moments are few and far in between. It’s just the physically feeling better aspect that you get with aerobic activity I’m currently missing.

I’ve also oddly been on a few dates and such, which is certainly different during these times!

    303abuser i am pretty concerned about winter though. running at -15 the last couple of days has been rough and getting outside when it’s -20 or colder isn’t enjoyable.

    Remind me why again that you live in Edmonton? Haha. Fuck me.

    We haven’t seen a dip below zero yet. It’s not quite Vancouver, but I’ll take Southern Ontario weather any day over that Alberta shit!

        bosstrabs This is actually a great point. Bumbling buffoons with a sunny disposition in the workplace, like Smallman no doubt is. Breezes into a Zoom meeting, stir-frying ideas in his mind-wok, the fact that he’s the only one with any enthusiasm at 8am grabs the CEO’s attention, who then lets him skip breezily off, the ‘ideas man’ has just delivered an extra 200 non-billable hours of work to someone else’s desk. The competent person who actually has to implement it thinks about strangling his already distended neck and leaving his prostrate torso jiggling and popping in a grotesquely comic death dance, but having had a loving upbringing thinks better of it and just tops himself.

        I’m praising you for how well this was written. The content is a tad grim, but bravo nonetheless!

          Everything is generally a bit shiter……especially if you live in a semi- urban environment.

          That has taken me and the Mrs a long time to come to terms with and has affected us. Had a week off work last week as had to take vacation. Went out a few times to the Jersey Shore to see the sea and had some meals out, freezing our bollocks off sitting outside. No real interest going into shops with lots of people. The things you’re used to doing you either cant do, are slightly shiter now or you are worried about getting Covid doing them. Thats causing a lot of mental stress. We are in our mid 40s so COVID is not really something we want to get.

          Everyone is so used to a certain way of life , especially in Cities, all the above has to have a massive affect on people. Even going for a walk you should be wearing a mask here in Hoboken…….you never get away from the pandemic!

          Being away from everyone, in the fresh air walking a dog is the way forward…plus exercise. Those are the only things that are keeping us sane at the moment…….but past generations have had it much worse so think we will be OK if we talk about things

            Thom_Fuckery Although the death of my Mother has certainly woken me up to the fact that we’re not in fact invincible, and time definitely speeds up the older we get.

            My condolences. Losing a parent is rough at any age, let alone not being able to say goodbye. 🙁

            I lost my dad when I was 18 (not looking for sympathy, just stating a fact) and it took a good two years before it properly hit me. We all grieve differently and sometimes it really takes a good while to process. Stay on top of it and don’t be afraid to speak to people about your mental health. I only say this because I didn’t and it bit me in the ass and the consequences were awful.

              loopdokter because my wife wasn’t into moving until this year. now i have to figure out how to move my business and everything that comes along with a major life change like that, but it’s coming. i think kelowna is a likely landing spot. right now it’s -10 and snowing enough to stick on the ground. my friend from ottawa was just here and he’s trying to convince me to go out that way. we’ll see, but change is long overdue.

              i can’t handle this anymore. i have a client’s dog i’m doing a board and train with this week, planned it as it should be plus 10, had to quit after half an hour earlier today because my hands were frozen to the point they hurt. at least it hasn’t been cold out since mid may.

                  loopdokter self motivation is a muscle that you have to work regularly. get a chin up bar, download the insanity videos, watch a david goggins motivational speach and get to it. took me probably 2 or 3 years, but i’m a bloody machine now when it comes to exercising when i don’t feel like it.

                      Dubman Honestly….no. I hadn’t. Because it’s always been able to calm me down. But I’m wondering now. Thanks for pointing that out 🙂

                          Kells77 Might be worth testing the hypothesis. A couple weeks off the weed, couple weeks on, couple weeks off, couple weeks on… Might work out in the long run.

                              i find my sweet spot is around 2-3 times per week. any more than that and i’m chasing the dragon and there’s more downside than not. i’ve tried out longer stretches on and off and that just works best for me.

                              Very sorry to hear about you losing your mother Thom Fuckery.

                              Get 2020 out of the way and 2021 will be way better for you.

                              Gutted for you Thom.

                              I find playing tennis about 3 times a week is helping, and going over the pub on Friday mornings for a BLT and a few pints of spitfire.

                              Frequent boozing and chonging simply do not help anything.

                              Not talking about a couple of beers a few times a week. I mean daily/heavy use of either.

                              Knocked the daily evening boozing on the head in my late twenties.