Valentine's Day

mono-stereo

Millsy Thankfully the Duchess has a birthday within 5 days of Valentines and so never expects anything by way of gifts, which is great as I always get her fuck all.

Surely doing your bit by taking her to ‘The Duchess Theatre’ while you chug no pun intended 8 train beers en route (while playing Springsteen full blast on your mobile in the carriage).

bosstrabs that’s basically the plan Davo. She’s so spoiled

Flowers, prosecco & card deliberately ordered after we agreed not to get each other anything so when her mates ask about it, she can be the tosser.

Wally prosecco

You know how to spoil a lady

Having you in her life is present enough, Wal.

I’ll cook and then we’ll settle down to watch Pregnant Asian Babes 4 after the boy has gone to bed. I’ll trim her nails and let her slip a digit in and as I’m approaching 50 I’ll get her to check for any abnormalities, kill 2 birds and all that.

I’m gonna settle down and watch Possum with the missus.

Along_the_Wire Perfect.

Along_the_Wire Oh God no. She probably would have killed me Vitus Nucleus 29 VR

alistair nicely done!

Wally

Wife: “We’re not doing Valentine’s Day this year are we?”
Me: “Sure, happy not to do it this year” [* remembers Valentine’s Day 2021 when she also said that and got the hump when I didn’t give her flowers. Then had to pay a load of money to get flowers delivered on the day before divorce o’clock*]
Wife (intermittently for the next few days) referencing Valentine’s Day at every opportunity.
Me: No comment
Me: Order flowers, card etc. for Valentine’s Day.
Wife: [on Valentine’s Day] I thought we weren’t doing anything. You didn’t have to buy me anything.
Me: Groans
Wife hurriedly goes out to shops on Valentine’s day to get me a card and some chocolates.

Thought and prayers for Mrs Rhouses and her bucket. If anyone needed a break it’s that woman.

My wife just called me. She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous.” I said, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”

Dan
Boom, boom

Roses are red
Bee Gees are disco
You may be hot
But you ain’t Trisco