Millsy Thankfully the Duchess has a birthday within 5 days of Valentines and so never expects anything by way of gifts, which is great as I always get her fuck all.

Surely doing your bit by taking her to ‘The Duchess Theatre’ while you chug no pun intended 8 train beers en route (while playing Springsteen full blast on your mobile in the carriage).

      Flowers, prosecco & card deliberately ordered after we agreed not to get each other anything so when her mates ask about it, she can be the tosser.

        Having you in her life is present enough, Wal.

        I’ll cook and then we’ll settle down to watch Pregnant Asian Babes 4 after the boy has gone to bed. I’ll trim her nails and let her slip a digit in and as I’m approaching 50 I’ll get her to check for any abnormalities, kill 2 birds and all that.

        Took the day off, bought the missus brunch and instead of taking her bike for a needed service, bought her the new one she had her eye on. Best reaction of any present yet!

          Wally

          Wife: “We’re not doing Valentine’s Day this year are we?”
          Me: “Sure, happy not to do it this year” [* remembers Valentine’s Day 2021 when she also said that and got the hump when I didn’t give her flowers. Then had to pay a load of money to get flowers delivered on the day before divorce o’clock*]
          Wife (intermittently for the next few days) referencing Valentine’s Day at every opportunity.
          Me: No comment
          Me: Order flowers, card etc. for Valentine’s Day.
          Wife: [on Valentine’s Day] I thought we weren’t doing anything. You didn’t have to buy me anything.
          Me: Groans
          Wife hurriedly goes out to shops on Valentine’s day to get me a card and some chocolates.

            As always, my postman needs back surgery having struggled to deliver all of the cards I got sent.

            Thought and prayers for Mrs Rhouses and her bucket. If anyone needed a break it’s that woman.

              Dan Thought and prayers for Mrs Rhouses and her bucket.

              Likely got a new bucket & ‘chopping knife’. Rhouses knows how to treat a lady

                My wife just called me. She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous.” I said, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”

                  Roses are red
                  Bee Gees are disco
                  You may be hot
                  But you ain’t Trisco