What those lonely heart ads really mean…

40-ish………………..49

Adventurous……………Slept with all your mates

Athletic………………No tits

Average looking………..Has a face like an arse

Beautiful……………..Pathological liar

Contagious Smile……….Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure……..On medication

Feminist………………Fat

Free spirit……………Junkie

Friendship first……….Former slut

Gentle………………..Dull

Good Listener………….Autistic

New-Age……………….Body hair problems

Old-fashioned………….No BJs or ana1

Open-minded……………Desperate

Outgoing………………Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate…………….Sloppy drunk

Poet………………….Depressive

Professional…………..B*tch

Romantic………………Frigid

Voluptuous…………….Very Fat

Large lady…………….Hugely Fat

Wants Soulmate…………Stalker

Widow…………………Murderer

Likes eating out……..fat cunt

Seeks knight in shining armour….ex is a psycho

    Dan Seeks knight in shining armor = Needy bitch that can’t do anything by herself imo

      If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best 🤮

      benson Ed I probably still have her number somewhere if you want it.

      Sure, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

        Looks like it’s called imgur Hursty.

        I’ve never heard of it I must say.

        What I like about ‘dating’ is the bit when you persuade the bird to stand on your balls and shout at you in thick Beijing vernacular for no add-on fees because she thinks it seems ‘fun’.

          bosstrabs lol. For 20 RMB you can also go on a socially-distanced walking date

            Am chatting to an absolute smoker on Bumble.

            It’s probably Purple Aki.