BORDER GUARD: What’s the purpose of your trip?
SMALLMAN: Neck shortening procedure, only available in Tenerife.
BORDER GUARD: On you go son, you need it.

    BORDER GUARD: don’t trip over your laces!

    BORDER GUARD: What’s the purpose of your trip?
    SMALLMAN: Ledging the bants.
    BORDER GUARD: Christ we’ve missed you.

    On the way home:

    SMALLMAN: Remember when I told you the purpose of my trip was ledging the bants?

    I lied

      It was a socially distanced date on the beach with an African migrant.

        Old-Dutch On the way home:

        SMALLMAN: Remember when I told you the purpose of my trip was ledging the bants?

        I lied

        Ha!

        Love it!

          bosstrabs It was a socially distanced date on the beach with an African migrant.

          D for Downvoted!

            alistair Isn’t Nick in the vulnerable due to age category? I only hope he’s been vaccinated so he can play these plague raves without fear?

                Because of the shit music he plays.

                alistair
                Maybe send medical professionals to everyone’s house / school twice a week then.

                That would be perfectly sane

                    alistair It’ll work to an extent though - better than nothing?

                    We need to start helping the rest of the world out once we’ve done the over 50s